#amwriting

I don't understand hashtags. I was told to use them when I post stuff on Instagram for work so I've used them, but have no idea what they are supposed to do for the messages I want to relay. It's been explained that they lump together ideas so they are easily found via social media. Sounds like a label, but maybe I am just dense when it comes to their ultimate purpose.

Because of my lack of understanding of hashtags I ignore them. In fact, I cringe inside at the run-on words, especially when they are misspelled, but misspelling bothers me whenever I see it, not just in hashtags. However, there is one that often catches my eye:

#amwriting

This one gets me because it reminds me of what I should be doing, but am not. It brings on a case of writer's envy. In many cases writer's envy can be described as wishing you'd written something someone else has written, as in, "That’s such a good novel/article/blog post. I wish I’d written it." While I've gotten a case of that a few times, my envy doesn't come from other writer's ideas. I believe that stories can be told over and over again in various styles and have distinct affects on their readers. We each tell stories in our way, through our personal lens and so even if I write a story with an idea that's been done before, my take will be unique. I get a different kind of writer's envy. 

When I see the above hashtag, I feel envious of those who are doing something I love. At that moment when I read it, I wish I could be writing, too. I picture the person sitting comfortable at a desk or with their laptop propped on them, words flowing flawlessly onto the page, a peaceful setting that allows for thought and creativity to stream freely. I imagine the tranquility of their lives at that moment when they are ignoring the real world and building their own. What I am most envious of is that they have the time to be writing.

As I've blogged before, I can't write every day. I am not whining about it, it's just how my life is right now. I have 2 jobs, am raising a daughter on my own, have a plethora of people who count on me, and limited energy to do it all. I have to consciously carve out writing time and on average, I get to it about once a week on a good week. But, if I could squeeze out a few more hours in the day and some more mental energy, I'd write every day. Ideally, I'd have a big desk overlooking an inspiring landscape, my books spread around me like tools and companions. My space would be quiet, except for chirping birds outside my window and the sound of my dog napping peacefully at my feet. My iced tea would sit beside me, and maybe a bowl of pistachios for a snack. The walls would be covered in quotes by other writer's, writing prompts and pictures that bring me joy and provoke thought. A candle burns emits a musky, mild aroma, and my seat is comfortable and supportive of my posture. I could escape to this space at will, and daily. This would be my sanctuary. Maybe from there I'll start to love #amwriting.