Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Life Goes On

It's hard not to think about all that Warren has missed since he's been gone. Aside from the milestones, there are so many little things that I think he would get a kick out of.

Living on a hill is back-breaking in the winter, not to mention dangerous. When there were two incomes we had a snow removal service, but that was a luxury I did away with soon after the funeral. In its place I bought a super large and powerful snow blower. It's the kind of heavy machinery Warren would have enjoyed. One of the ways I get through the winter is knowing that if he were around, he'd enjoy seeing me handle it and clear our hellish driveway all by myself. Of course, I can also imagine him trying to Bogart the machine and wanting to do it himself. I wouldn't have fought him too hard on that one.

Since Warren was into gadgets and technology, I often wonder how he would interact with some of today's apps. In particular, I think about the photography-based ones like Instagram and Snap Chat. I can totally see him having a great time with the kids on Snap Chat. I don't think he would have been big on reading stories, but I think he would have used stories to share his travels with our daughter since he often traveled for work. He loved taking photos with his phone so he would have been all over Instagram, and I would have been at his side asking him how to use it.

The family changes are harder to imagine. So many changes have happened that I am glad he's not been around to witness - difficult times that all families go through, but are still unpleasant and painful. On the other hand, there have been some really great ones, like the birth of my youngest nephew, and the births of his nephews in Mexico. Unlike me, Warren was a baby person. While he was nervous to hold and feed his first nephew, once he got the hang of it (and my family kept having baby after baby for a few years), he enjoyed having sleeping little ones on his chest, making them smile, and teaching them things as they got older. Sometimes when the kids are over at my house I hear them say and do things that I know would have gotten a deep belly laugh out of him. I am mostly at the point now in my grief that I can smile at those moments and feel a brief connection to Warren, like he's smiling, too.

Cuco Santiago
AKA my little brother
Watching my brother fulfill his dream of doing entertainment wrestling is something else that Warren would have been all over. He would have been a Cuco Santiago groupie, going on road trips with him to his out-of-state shows, and attinding as many local shows as his schedule would allow. He wasn't a big lucha libre fan, but he was a big fan of people going after their dreams, especially the people he loved.

Then there are the quiet moments when I catch something on the news, or read an interesting article about a topic which I know he would have had a lot to say. Events like the ones that have spurred the Black Lives Matter movement would have definitely stirred the activist in him. He would have been all about finding ways to be in solidarity with those in the movement, as well as police officers. No doubt that he would have words of hope and unity, while wanting there to be systemic changes that allow all to live without fear of race-based harassment leading to death.

And don't get me started on how Warren would feel about Trump...I guess that's one thing I am glad he isn't around to see. I keep hoping that he'll send me sign that it's all really a big joke and that America really isn't buying his rhetoric. If that ever happens, you can bet I'll blog about it.

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